Preventing Divorce

Monday, May 22, 2006

Stop Divorce - communication

More about Divorce prevention here, be sure to check out our site and find out more ways to stop divorce.


From my experience with couples trying to Stop Divorce are faced with many challenges, some of these issues and challenges are often very surprising. One of the people who visited my site sent me an email saying that I would not believe how easy it was to work on some parts of the prevent divorce issue, and that the hardest thing he and his wife faced was breaking the old habits, changing the way they conducted themselves, the automatic pilot that drives relationships into walls.

This is what this article is about, trying to notice the point in which you lose control over your target (preventing and stopping your divorce) and let the auto pilot drive your relationship into a difficult spot. Shedding light on a few points, I hope that you will be better equipped the next time you are facing an argument or even a discussion.

First point, is almost too easy, the blame game. How easy is this? Now honestly, think about it, almost everyone does it, and you have done it many times before, you play this stupid little game, get yourself wrapped around this idea and lose control, not only escalating the situation but getting into a mindset of blaming and anger, this would not help you, or anyone for that matter, achieve anything. What you really need to do is examine the situation, think about what you did, or what you usually do, and what your spouse does, and be as objective as you can. Make a table with the things you both do, never forget to notice the things that you do wrong, because everyone does something wrong, and admit it, to yourself and to your spouse.

Second, the “you are overreacting” sentence. How helpful is that?, men tend to say this to woman a lot, but I saw a few woman do that too, and this is a nasty one, not only do you judge your spouse, you are also criticizing their response, like you have any right to. Think about it for a moment, I am sure you will understand that this is a terrible thing to say and that in no case should you even consider saying this, take things at face value, if your partner is angry, focus on why he or she got to this situation and deal with it, don’t push it away and award the what you think is an exaggerated reaction level to your partner.

Saturday, May 13, 2006

Stop Divorce - Talking

Some words about communication and stopping divorce, we all know that communication is important, but not everyone knows how to deal with a lack of communication, sometimes you just get used to not saying anything... here are a few words about how to change that and try to sopt divorce.


Here are some great ways to get started. Listen to the news in the morning or on your way to work. When you are listening, try to focus on those things you think your spouse would find interesting. What would SHE tell you about? Then ask her if she heard the story, and what she thought about it.

At work, school or out on the street, pay attention to those things that happen during the day that are funny, educational or interesting and talk about those. Ask your spouse if they have heard from a good friend lately and what is happening with them. Talk about things you want to plan or do over the next month or two. Vacation planning is a good topic, but only if you are both looking forward to going and if you are both actively involved in planning for the vacation. One cautionary note: If you only get an hour or two per day in which the two of you can talk, try NOT to use that time to nag your spouse about an incomplete activity or complain about what has been happening at work or home.

Keep the conversation interesting and try to focus on things that are positive so your spouse will WANT to talk to you. Once you open the lines of communication, you’ll find that you don’t need conversation starters anymore, and you will start to talk about important things again. And, that is what this is really about.

Stop Divorce