Preventing Divorce

About Marital Counseling

2006-12-14T03:10:00.000-08:00

Many turn to this option, even though there are many other things that can be done to save a failing marriage this is still considered to be one of the prime solutions, personally I believe that it is mostly the attitude and work of the couple that break a new path of communication, but some people prefer to have a proper and professional consulting involved.

About Marital counseling.

Marriage counseling is often seen as the last resort in the attempt to save marriage. This is very unfortunate since marriage counselors can be more effective if the couple has seek help when the problem is just beginning to arise. What is more unfortunate is that the notion that once the couples decide to go to marital counseling sessions they have already given up since there are already tremendous emotional buildup inside marriage and there is nowhere to go but to separate.

Continue reading about Preventing Divorce

Visit The Stop Divorce Advice Site

2006-11-01T01:17:00.000-08:00

Help Your Marriage - Don't Give Up

2006-07-28T23:14:00.000-07:00

Couples all over the globe give up on their marriages every year, and they do so needlessly. If they knew what to do to open the lines of communication and talk to their partners, they could save themselves a lot of stress and heartache.

You never thought the day you married that you would end up divorcing. In fact, it would have been the furthest thing from your mind. If you don’t take action now, your marriage will fail.

Online author Amy Waterman has all the techniques necessary to facilitate resolving conflicts, increase self esteem, learn about forgiveness, and reignite the passion that you both once felt. With Amy’s help you can save your marriage and avoid being a divorce statistic. It may be the best advice you have ever had!

Visit: "save my marriage"

And avoid being another statistic....

P.S
The great thing about it is that you don't have to wait for the book to be delivered.
You can just download it right away !

And if you didn't find the book helpful at all (I strongly doubt it) you can get 100% of your money back in the following 6 weeks after the purchase.

So check out : "save my marriage"

Access The FULL ARTICLES

2006-06-19T14:42:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone,

Just wanted to remind you that you can access the FULL ARTICLES on the Stop Divorce Web Site - http://stopdivorce.zupatips.com/

And I also wanted to thank those of you who emailed me, and let you know that you can post your comments on this blog, after all – this is what Blogs are for…

Divorce prevention – A test for the individual

2006-06-18T02:56:00.000-07:00

As most married couples know, there are natural ups and downs in every relationship, this post does not discuss the regular every day stress related fights and arguments between couples but a more serious situation where both partners are seriously considering divorce or are even at a point of starting a divorce procedure.

Some people do not believe that a broken marriage can be saved, I do not think that this is true, but then again I don’t think that anything is impossible, we all know numerous examples of people who have achieved incredible things, sometimes even in desperate situations, so I believe that we humans are capable of almost anything, and I definitely think that saving a marriage or relationship, and preventing a divorce are possible.

The first step in preventing an upcoming divorce is to strengthen the individual, this means that each of the partners needs to go into a phase of self healing and self rebuilding, it is this stage that will have the most effect on the way the partners communicate in the near future. This is the reason that the process of rebuilding your individuality is important, its basically the way that you will position yourself in front of your partner, and it will allow you to reshape your character and the way your partner looks at you.

This is why the first real step should be rebuilding ones inner strength and power, to redefine anything that is of importance to you life, and decide that you are your own person, that whatever may happen to you, successful or failing to save you marriage or anything else you set out to do, you will be determined to be happy, and healthy in your life, that the source of happiness and joy is exterior to relationships and accessible to everyone at any time, this kind of positive thinking will bring results once you believe in it and practice it daily, even a few times a day.

Stop Divorce

Stop Divorce - communication

2006-05-22T13:42:00.000-07:00

More about Divorce prevention here, be sure to check out our site and find out more ways to stop divorce.

From my experience with couples trying to Stop Divorce are faced with many challenges, some of these issues and challenges are often very surprising. One of the people who visited my site sent me an email saying that I would not believe how easy it was to work on some parts of the prevent divorce issue, and that the hardest thing he and his wife faced was breaking the old habits, changing the way they conducted themselves, the automatic pilot that drives relationships into walls.

This is what this article is about, trying to notice the point in which you lose control over your target (preventing and stopping your divorce) and let the auto pilot drive your relationship into a difficult spot. Shedding light on a few points, I hope that you will be better equipped the next time you are facing an argument or even a discussion.

First point, is almost too easy, the blame game. How easy is this? Now honestly, think about it, almost everyone does it, and you have done it many times before, you play this stupid little game, get yourself wrapped around this idea and lose control, not only escalating the situation but getting into a mindset of blaming and anger, this would not help you, or anyone for that matter, achieve anything. What you really need to do is examine the situation, think about what you did, or what you usually do, and what your spouse does, and be as objective as you can. Make a table with the things you both do, never forget to notice the things that you do wrong, because everyone does something wrong, and admit it, to yourself and to your spouse.

Second, the “you are overreacting” sentence. How helpful is that?, men tend to say this to woman a lot, but I saw a few woman do that too, and this is a nasty one, not only do you judge your spouse, you are also criticizing their response, like you have any right to. Think about it for a moment, I am sure you will understand that this is a terrible thing to say and that in no case should you even consider saying this, take things at face value, if your partner is angry, focus on why he or she got to this situation and deal with it, don’t push it away and award the what you think is an exaggerated reaction level to your partner.

Stop Divorce - Talking

2006-05-13T10:50:00.000-07:00

Some words about communication and stopping divorce, we all know that communication is important, but not everyone knows how to deal with a lack of communication, sometimes you just get used to not saying anything... here are a few words about how to change that and try to sopt divorce.

Here are some great ways to get started. Listen to the news in the morning or on your way to work. When you are listening, try to focus on those things you think your spouse would find interesting. What would SHE tell you about? Then ask her if she heard the story, and what she thought about it.

At work, school or out on the street, pay attention to those things that happen during the day that are funny, educational or interesting and talk about those. Ask your spouse if they have heard from a good friend lately and what is happening with them. Talk about things you want to plan or do over the next month or two. Vacation planning is a good topic, but only if you are both looking forward to going and if you are both actively involved in planning for the vacation. One cautionary note: If you only get an hour or two per day in which the two of you can talk, try NOT to use that time to nag your spouse about an incomplete activity or complain about what has been happening at work or home.

Keep the conversation interesting and try to focus on things that are positive so your spouse will WANT to talk to you. Once you open the lines of communication, you’ll find that you don’t need conversation starters anymore, and you will start to talk about important things again. And, that is what this is really about.

Stop Divorce

Stop Divorce - Severe problems?

2006-04-30T02:19:00.000-07:00

What if your problems are severe? Though you both really want to fix them, you have no idea where to begin. You may want to consider professional help. Though, if you are going to take this route it is wise to thoroughly research the person or group you plan to use.

Even if the marriage counselor or family therapist is professionally skilled and devoted to his or her clients, you may find that you do not ‘click’ with their style or techniques. Your marriage is very personal to you and you need to feel comfortable with the person you choose to help you resolve your problems. When you consider the statistics, a recent study revealed that about one third of those actively working on marriage issues, chose to involve a counselor.

Some of these instances involved one spouse attending therapy, others involved couples therapy.

Stop Divorce Basics

2006-04-15T10:19:00.000-07:00

Don’t Grow Apart…Grow Together - Prevent Divorce

There are as many reasons for divorce, as there are married couples! However, you might be surprised to learn that one of the most common reasons for divorce is nothing as dramatic as spousal abuse, or drinking or drug addiction.

Many couples just grow apart. This issue is very common in couples that marry young, and it is easy to understand. At age eighteen or twenty, a blushing bride or proud groom has barely come adulthood, and is certainly not mature.

Interests and direction are still evolving. And, when that evolution begins to slow and the couple find themselves in their thirties or forties, they may suddenly discover that they have grown apart.

Though many young couples think that romance will keep them together forever, a solid relationship – one that will last for thirty, forty or fifty years of married life – is based on friendship, common interests, romance and much more.

If you find yourself at age forty with nothing in common with your spouse, you may feel like strangers. Maybe you’ve run out of things to talk about – other than your children – or you find yourself alone on a Saturday afternoon, trying to remember what to say.

This is not to suggest that you must buy a rifle and get to a practice range if your husband is an avid hunter. Nor should a husband take up gourmet cooking if that is his wife’s hobby. Though, some really dedicated husbands and wives HAVE taken on the challenge of jumping in with both feet!

If you want to give that a try, more power to you! Just be sure that it doesn’t backfire. If you decide to acquire a new interest or skill just to please your spouse, be sure you are really committed to this idea or you will end up resenting your spouse for the time and effort you invest.

And try not to waste the investment by abandoning the activity. Your spouse will be very happy to know you have taken an interest but, if you drop out, it will look as though you really didn’t care all that much!

Here are some other ideas you can consider, if you are looking for ways to share your interests and bond with your spouse.

If you don’t want to take on something that interests your spouse, and jump in with both feet, you can still ‘share’ your thoughts and let them know you noticed what is important to them.

For example, clip an article out of the paper on your husband’s favorite football team, or record a TV appearance by your wife’s favorite actor. Better yet, read a newspaper article about something that interests your spouse and talk to them about it over dinner. Ask them questions about what you read and what they know about the topic and watch their face light up.

Listen to your spouse talk about their favorite subject or hobby and, instead of shutting them down, try to hear ‘clues’ in what they say about what makes them interested in the subject.

Talk to them about what YOU find interesting in the subject. For example, if your husband belongs to a book club and he always talks about the books he is reading, ask him about his favorite authors or what kinds of books he likes best – mystery, suspense, sci-fi.

If you can’t share the interest, at least show your spouse that you respect and honor it. Register your gourmet cook spouse in a local session with a famous chef or find a website or a recipe you think will interest them.

A particularly effective and favorite way to develop a common interest is to look at what interests the both of you now. Then try to find a common area or a ‘type’ of activity you both like.

An example might be if both of you like sports, but you don’t have a sport in common.

Prevent Divorce

2006-04-02T14:47:00.000-07:00

Your marriage is in trouble, and you know that even though you want to get it all over with that you still love your partner and that you will probably regret your actions in the near future, the action needed is clear- you need to prevent divorce.

Divorce is not the answer, and rushing into one is a big mistake, the divorce process will eliminate your chances of rebuilding your relationship, so you better consider this move carefully and be absolutely sure that you have exhausted all the means and ways to improve your relationship.

Your spouse does not understand you, and both of you are not communicating any more, it seems as though there is a huge gap between you, that even the smallest things makes you upset about each other, and that what was once easy and fun has now become unbearable. Preventing divorce is not about compromise, preventing divorce is about rediscovering your relationship.

The changes in relationships seem almost impossible, from once passionate lovers that could not bare being apart couples change into two different people that sometimes seek the opportunity to be as separate from one another as possible. The dangers of the growing distance between couple raises questions in their minds and in many cases this ends in a divorce.

Every person is different, every couple has its own unique story, but the bottom line is usually this – one or both partners think that it is impossible to turn the relationship into something that will flourish again, with the hope of regaining the love of the other lost the partners turn into the simplest and what seems like the easiest solution, instead of fighting and arguing over and over again, the clean cut divorce looks like a good solution.

Sometimes and in some cases this is probably the best way to go, divorce for some couples is the best answer to a hopeless situation. But if you are one of the many people who feel that not all hope is gone and that you wish to continue building the relationship you have with your partner, who at a certain time was the closest to you, this is the place to start looking inwards and outwards and work to regain your harmoniums loving relationship once again.

Good relationships start with good communication, it is almost sure that you once had a relationship with good communication, you can probably remember the days when you didn’t have enough time with your spouse to talk about all the plans you had for your life and to share your thoughts? How long has it been now? How many years since you last had a really good communication exchange? After you’ve exhausted the discussion about the children’s schedule, who has to drop off the dry cleaning and when you will visit your in-laws, do you find yourself at a loss for words?

You are not alone. There is nothing wrong with either of you. You are probably just mired in everyday life and because your daily schedule is so hectic, over the years you simply ran out of time for casual and enjoyable discussion. And, now you can’t even remember how to even talk to your spouse, stopping or preventing a divorce will mean that you will need to rethink the way you communicate.

Good communication is not so hard and it is vital for preventing a divorce, it is just plain simple work, until you get used to it. Instead of talking about the regular things, you will need to think a little harder and try a lot harder. Talk about real things, not the work routine and the children’s activities think of things you want to talk about, you’ll find yourself anxious to get home to share the information with your spouse. Avoid the topics that do not interest you spouse, remember that this is about the both of you, and what you find interesting, just finding this topic will earn you points for trying, do not plan ahead too much – just let yourself into a discussion about things you have not discussed for long.

Listen to the news in the morning or on your way to work. When you are listening, try to focus on those things you think your spouse would find interesting. What would she tell you about? Then ask her if she heard the story, and what she thought about it.

Talk about things you want to plan or do over the next month or two. Vacation planning is a good topic, but only if you are both looking forward to going and if you are both actively involved in planning for the vacation.

Preventing divorce is a complicated issue – not impossible one. You will need to invest time and energy into you marriage now, and do everything you can to prevent divorce. Good luck!.

More on Preventing Divorce on the Stop divorce pages.